Synopsis : Sequel to How Much For Your Love.  It takes place about a month after they saw each other at the club.  Much has changed and yet much has stayed the same... and where does this leave Jason and Robin?

Disclaimer : Not my characters, don't own them.  The song is by Joy Enriquez and is called How Can I Not Love You.  I believe it is off the Anna and the Kind soundtrack.

Jason walks down the hall on the seventh floor of General Hospital. He spent too much time in this place, more than he should, more than he cared to. It just seemed that he couldn’t get away and maybe that was the price he paid for being who he is and doing the job that he did. People got hurt around him, people ended up in hospitals and sometimes people got in the way, got themselves into situations that they should never have gotten involved in, in the first place. That’s why Zander Smith was here because he couldn’t seem to stay out of things that didn’t concern him. He got in over his head and it landed him at GH with a couple broken ribs and his face pretty badly messed up. He was lucky, they could have finished him off... Jason knew that Alcazar was ruthless enough, but for some reason he spared him and Jason wanted to know why. He’d wanted to talk Zander, but when he arrived at his room he was surprised to find Liz sitting by a sleeping Zander’s bedside. It didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would... after all, they weren’t together anymore, he was the one who ended it nearly a month ago, about a week after that night at the club. After that night, nothing was the same and no matter how hard he tried to forget about what almost happened... he just couldn’t. She was constantly on his mind... in the day, she consumed his every thought and at night, she haunted his dreams. He could tell Liz had noticed the change in him, he was trying so hard, too hard to make it work... and one night when he was tired of feeling that familiar ache in his heart, that empty feeling inside of his soul... when he just wanted to feel something else for a change, he turned to Liz. He knew she was ready, he was the one who was holding back, who would pull away when things got too intense between them, but this time he didn’t.

He still remembers that moment... they were kissing on the couch in his penthouse and his shirt was already off and hers was half way there... he tried to lose himself, he tried not to think about how her kisses didn’t taste the same, that her touch wasn’t as soft or that her perfume didn’t smell as sweet. He tried to block it out, to keep himself from comparing the two... one whom he cared for and believed could one day love... and the other, whom he once did love and still loved to this day... and it was then, in the midst of their love making that he realized that he was wishing she was someone else. Another brunette, another young girl but from another time... only her hair darker and her eyes, deep and soulful. He told Liz that he couldn’t do it and she had misunderstood, thinking he meant sex, but in fact what he meant was... everything. He couldn’t lie and he couldn’t pretend... he couldn’t deny it or fight it anymore. He still remembers the look of complete devastation on her face, the tears that filled her eyes and he knew she was thinking it, even though she didn’t say it because it was the same thing he was thinking... he still loved her... he was still in love with Robin. Even now when he thinks back to that night, he wonders why he didn’t feel more when she walked out that door... why he felt more remorseful for hurting her than heartbroken that it was over. It was the same now, seeing her with Zander just moments before... he should’ve felt something, hurt, jealousy, anger... but there was nothing and he wonders if what he felt for Liz ever went beyond deep concern and caring... he once thought it did, maybe he was wrong, maybe he was mistaken... maybe he was just lying to himself, deluding himself into believing that he could ever replace her or stop loving her.

He walks over to the elevators, pushing the button, impatiently. He stares down at the ground, lost in thought when he hears the doors open... he looks up and his heart skips a beat as he finds himself face to face with the very person solely responsible for turning his entire world upside-down.

Robin stands inside the elevator, a similarly surprised expression on her face. It had been nearly a month since that night at the club and aside from the occasional glimpse of him... at Kelly’s, at the Grille, at the park, usually with Liz... she hadn’t really run into him until now. He looked good, standing there in his blue jeans, black shirt and customary black leather jacket. His hands stuffed in his jacket pockets and his mouth slightly agape as he looks back at her. He looked the same since they last saw each other, aside for the fact that he’d cut his hair, it was shorter now and styled slightly spiky in the front. And he looked less tired, less drained since that night at the club... although she couldn’t help but notice that his beautiful blue eyes still lacked the sparkle they once possessed. The same eyes that once used to seem so alive, so full of life... now seemed worn and sad... what happened, when did it happen, was it somehow her fault? Her eyes drop from his face, unable to stand the thought of ever being responsible for putting that look in his eyes.

Jason watches as she looks away and yet he is unable to do the same, completely taken back at the mere sight of her. He swallows nervously as he steps into the elevator, never taking his eyes off her. He stands beside her as the doors close and the elevator begins to make it’s decent down. He watches her out of the corner of his eye as her own gaze remains focused on the elevator doors ahead. She looked even more beautiful now than that fateful night at the club, dressed rather conservatively in a black skirt, the hem just reaching her knee and a crisp white button down shirt with the very top button undone. She had on a pair of strappy, three inch heels and had opted to leave her long dark hair down, parted down the middle and tucked behind her ear. The matching black blazer draped over her arm and her purse slung over her shoulder. Her make up was very light, very natural... she looked very professional, very different from the way she was dressed at the club... but still beautiful. Still the same woman he fell in love with... the same pouty lips, pert nose and deep, soulful eyes. God, he missed her...the sound of her voice, the taste of her kiss, the feel of her body next to his at night... he missed everything about her. He missed being with her, being together, the way they used to be... the way they no longer were, the way they cannot be now... and perhaps can never be.

Robin tries to ignore that he’s even standing there, that he’s so close that she could smell the faint scent of his aftershave, that the entire time he hasn’t taken his eyes off her... but it was slowly becoming impossible. The silence is deafening and the sheer closeness of him is maddening, the air around them in that small elevator seemingly electrically charged... they never could be so close to each other and pretend that the other didn’t exist.

"What?" She asks, sighing loudly, her gaze still fixated in front of her.

"Nothing... I- nothing." He says, quickly looking away from her, silently chastising himself for staring at her so blatantly. He hesitates before turning to her again and this time she shifts her gaze to his, their eyes instantly locking. "You look good." He says, saying the first thing off the top of his head. She looks down at her attire self-consciously, blushing slightly under Jason’s gaze.

"I- I had an appointment with Alan." She explains and an alarmed expression comes across his face. "Not that kind of appointment." She says quickly, easing his apprehension and he looks relieved.

"Oh." He says, lamely. "How are you? I mean, you’re okay, right?" He asks, softly and she smiles slightly.

"Yeah I’m good... how about you?" She asks and he gives her a look, a look she has a hard time reading.

"I’m okay." He says and she looks at him, strangely.

"Just okay?" She asks and he smiles, slightly.

"Okay." He says and she nods, accepting his answer. She watches as his eyes drift to what she’s wearing again and she smiles.

"I had an interview... I’m thinking of completing my residency at GH." She explains and he nods.

"Right, I heard you decided to stay... in Port Charles." He says and she looks at him, surprised. "Brenda... Brenda came by to see Sonny the other day." He explains and it all becomes clear to Robin as she sighs.

"I wish she wouldn’t do that... she doesn’t need to- to go around protecting me." She says and he shrugs.

"Well... you know Brenda... she doesn’t have anything better to do than meddle in other people’s lives." He says, cattily and Robin rolls her eyes as she looks away.

"Jason..." She warns him and he sighs, hanging his head.

"I’m sorry, I know she’s your friend... and she’s very protective of the people she cares about... especially you." He says apologetically and she turns to look at him. "I mean, she has every right to be... right?" He asks and she doesn’t say anything as they look at each other, silently as the seconds tick on. "Look... about that night at the club..." He begins and she shakes her head.

"Don’t worry about it... it just happened, right?" She says and he nods, hesitantly. "You- you were just surprised to see me there... and that was the last place I expected to see you... we just, we weren’t expecting it." She says and he doesn’t say anything. "Besides... nothing happened, right?" She says and he just stares at her, knowing that she was lying, that she didn’t really believe that... he could see it in her eyes. She looks back at him, unnerved by the way he was looking at her with those oh so honest blue eyes of his and she finds it hard to look away.

"You know, that’s not true." He whispers.

"Yes it is, you’re with Elizabeth now." She whispers, never breaking her gaze, watching as his eyes cloud over with confusion.

"How... who told you that?" He asks.

"Brenda... and I’ve seen you with her a couple times." She says and he looks down. "It’s true, isn’t it? That night at the club, you were with her... she was there..." She says and he swallows hard.

"I’m sorry." He says and she looks at him, putting on a brave face even though her insides were in absolute turmoil, but she refused to cry.

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry about. I didn’t expect you to wait around, just like you didn’t expect me to come back. You moved on with your life... so did I... you fell in love... and I-" She says, stopping in mid sentence when his head jerks up. He hadn’t even thought of the possibility that she was with someone... that there was another man in her life, someone who held her at night and woke up next to her in the mornings... just the thought of it made his heart sick.

"And you have somebody in your life too." He says completing her sentence as if it just suddenly occurred to him. He meant it to be more of a statement then a question, but it was clear what he was asking.

"No... no, there’s no one." She says, softly as she looks away, missing the look of complete relief that washes over his face.

"Liz and I broke up." He blurts out and she turns to look at him again, shocked. "A week after..." He explains and she knows he was going to say, a week after that night at the club.

"I’m sorry." She says, helplessly and he shakes his head.

"Don’t be... it wouldn’t have worked out." He says and she simply looks at him. "I thought it could, I thought I could move on with her, I thought I could love her... and maybe if I wasn’t-" He stops abruptly when he realizes what he is about to say, admit for the first time in years. He looks into those soft brown eyes and he can’t deny it any longer. "If I wasn’t still in love with you..." He whispers and she’s speechless, unsure of what to say... what she can possible say to that, so she simply looks up at him, dumbfounded.

Jason waits for Robin to acknowledge what he’s just said, he watches as the full impact of his words hit her and he watches her fight the tears from pooling in her eyes. She wasn’t expecting this and he knows that, he hadn’t planned for any of this to happen, to say any of this especially here of all places. But he just couldn’t go on pretending anymore, pretending that he’d forgotten her, pretending that he never thought about her, pretending that he didn’t miss her or love her... acting as if she had never meant anything to him when the truth was she had meant everything... and still did. He looks down at her, wanting so much to hold her, but he resists.

"I miss you so much... I never thought it was possible to miss anything or anyone as much as I miss you." He says, softly as he looks into her eyes. "I thought it would get better with time, that the feeling would lessen, that it would go away but it hasn’t... and I don’t think it ever will... because I love you, Robin. And since the very beginning that has been the only thing that I have ever been sure of in my entire life." He says, watching as tears fill her eyes, his words affecting her deeply. "No one has ever made me feel the way you do... not Carly, not Liz... no one, only you. And I’ve asked myself a hundred times why that is... why is it that you’re the only one who can make me feel this way, make my heart ache so much and love so much all at the same time from just looking at you... and all I can come up with is..." He pauses as he hesitantly raises his hand to touch her cheek, his fingertips grazing the side of her face tenderly. "It’s you... how can I not love you?" He asks, rhetorically as he gently wipes away her tears before pulling his hand away. "I mean, you’re the reason why I can love at all. You taught me... and before there was anything else, anyone else, you were there... inside my heart. You’re a part of me, you’ve always been a part of me... I can’t forget that, I can’t change that... it’s just the way it is." He professes and she looks up at him tearfully.

"Jason..." She whispers and he stops her.

"Wait just- just let me say this one last thing." He says and she nods. "I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, a lot of things that I’ve messed up along the way, but I never had regrets... I couldn’t afford to." He pauses. "I guess, I never really understood why people wasted their time thinking about the past, about the things they wish they could’ve done differently, about the things they could go back and change. I never did, I never looked back. I try not to because I can see what it does to Sonny... and I know he regrets a lot in his life about the choices he’s made, about the people he’s hurt, about the things he’s done... and he has to live with that for the rest of his life... and I never wanted to live like that. What’s the point of looking back when you can’t change anything." He says as he sighs. "And then you came along and you changed all that because every time that I’ve hurt you, every time that I’ve made you cry, every time that I’ve caused you any pain... I’ve regretted it. And every single day that you’ve been away I’ve thought about how things might’ve been if I had done things differently, handled things better... maybe you wouldn’t have left, maybe we’d still be together, maybe we’d be married..." He says as she looks down sadly, she once had those same dreams for them too. "And if I could... if I could go back and change what happened, I would... I swear to you I would, but that’s not possible and I have to live with that fact everyday of my life, everyday that you’re gone... everyday that goes by and I don’t have you with me." He says, his blue eyes pleading with hers to believe him, in his words.

Robin looks at him for a long time, his blue eyes filled with emotion... so much remorse and regret... and love, that was there too. She absently wipes at the tears on her cheeks, looking away for a brief second before returning her gaze to his, uncertainty and confusion clouding her deep brown eyes.

"Jason..." She finally says. "I- I don’t know what you want me to say." She says, honestly and he looks back at her, his gaze unwavering.

"Nothing... you don’t have to say anything." He says quietly as his eyes slowly drop to her perfect mouth. He takes as step towards, barely any space separating them now... his breathing slightly off and her heart beating erratically in her chest. "Don’t say anything." He whispers, almost inaudible.

He stares down at her soft, pink lips... he remembers how they felt pressed against his, supple and tender... he remembers how they tasted, oh so sweet. She can’t take her eyes off of his, watching the intensity in them, the desire and the need mirrored in them. She tentatively lets her eyes trail down to focus on his lips and suddenly it’s hard to breathe, her once clear state of mind, now muddled and confused. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, drowning in her scent, subtle and sweet, driving his senses into a frenzy... letting his body feel the heat radiating off of hers, absorbing into his. His hands itch to touch her, hold her in his arms, feel her petite frame crushed against his strong hard one... it had been so long. She could feel his breath on her face, warm and minty, caressing her skin and causing her senses to tingle with awareness, sensitized to everything about him. She can see his erratic breaths, the uneven rise and fall of his chest, hypnotizing her. It surprises her that something so simple as him breathing could seduce her... she was falling again and she couldn’t stop it... she didn’t want to. He slowly raises one hand and then the other, cradling her face between them... a gesture that reflected the utmost love and devotion that was in his heart. His thumbs softly rub across her cheekbones, the softest skin he’d ever felt and the smoothest, like silk. Her eyes drift close at the familiar feeling of his touch, the oh so familiar caress... there was just something so endearing and beautiful about the way he would hold her face in his hands just before he was about to kiss her. It made her feel special and cherished, it spoke to heart on so many different levels and it made her feel loved in a way words could not express. It also made her insides quiver with the knowledge of what was to follow, anticipating the moment when his lips would finally touch hers and with that calm her fluttering heart and set her soul at ease... giving her a sense of peace like only he could do. He leans forward as she leans into him, his forehead brushing against hers as he tilts his head to avoid bumping noses and her head tilts up. His mouth hovers over hers and she can practically feel him, taste him as her lips part of their own accord and her breath halts in anticipation. His eyes drift close as he inches closer... his lips barely touch hers when the elevator chimes and the doors slide open on the ground floor, startling them out of their reverie. Robin pulls back instantly and Jason drops his hands from her face, but their eyes remain locked with the sudden realization of what was just about to happen.

Robin is the first to look away, silently berating herself for being so weak, so powerless when it came to him. He had some kind of hold over her, a kind of force that drew her to him each and every time, no matter how hard she fought it... in the end she was never strong enough. She wondered if he knew what he did to her, what he was capable of doing... one look into those absolutely breathtaking blue eyes and she lost the ability to speak, one gentle touch from those strong hands and she lost the will to fight... one tender kiss from those full, soft lips and she was his. It had taken just about everything inside her not to fall into his arms right then and there when he confessed he still loved her... the expression on his face, the look in his eyes, the sincerity of his words... they all tore at her heart and yet she had stayed strong... until he took that step. That one step towards her, closing the precious distance between him and her, the one thing that was separating them had been erased in that mere second... and with it went her restraint, all the barriers and walls she put up, the will and strength seemingly nonexistent... and surely if fate hadn’t stepped in, she would have lost her heart in that moment... with that single kiss. All that she had worked for, worked towards... the life she had built, the plans she had made for the future, the dreams she still hoped would come true one day... all of it would have been for nothing. All the time and effort she put into moving on with her life, moving forward and forgetting about the past and all its heartache and disappointments... all of it would’ve been lost. The truth was, she didn’t want to go back, she didn’t want to be back in that same awful place she was four years ago... not now, not when she was finally over it, finally... okay again. Her heart didn’t ache anymore, the memories didn’t come anymore, the pain was no longer as sharp... she was living again, breathing again... feeling again and she didn’t want that to change, she wasn’t ready for it to change... not yet.

Robin once again raises her eyes to his sadly... noting that he hadn’t taken his eyes off her since and before he had the chance to pull her under their alluring spell again, she forces herself to walk out of the elevator, leaving Jason to watch after her. Jason watches as she walks away as fast as her feet can carry her in three inch heels. He stands there dumbfounded for a second and then suddenly comes out of his stupor when the doors begin to slide closed. He quickly braces his hand against them, stopping them from fully closing and walks out after Robin.

"Robin..." Jason calls out as he heads down the hall after her. "Robin... would you just wait a second..." He says as she continues to walk quickly through the hall. It doesn’t take long for Jason to catch up to her, he gently grabs her arm to stop her, turning her around to face him. "Robin..." He breathes, looking down at her as her eyes remain fixated on the floor.

"Don’t-" She begins.

"Robin, I-" He says and she cuts him off.

"Please don’t... don’t do this, Jason." She whispers sadly, her tone remorseful. Her eyes meeting with his, tears brimming in them, threatening to spill over, but stubbornly refuse to.

"I’m sorry." He whispers and she nods, knowingly.

"I know... so am I." She says, sadly and he doesn’t understand.

"For what?" He asks.

"For everything... I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted to lose you..." She says, tearfully and he shakes his head.

"You could never lose me." He says and she smiles sadly.

"But I did." She says quietly and he looks down. "I just couldn’t live like that anymore... I couldn’t lie anymore." She explains and he looks up, nodding.

"I know, I know... I don’t blame you, not anymore. I couldn’t understand back then, I was too hurt, too blind... too stupid-" He says and she shakes her head.

"No... no, you just loved him so much. You wanted to be his father." She says and he sighs.

"But I wasn’t, A.J was... Michael’s his son and I was wrong, what I did was wrong." He says and she looks back at him.

"We were both wrong." She corrects and he shakes his head.

"It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I’m responsible for A.J losing his son, for never getting the chance to know him, for Carly getting away with it, with everything. I’m responsible for ruining everything between us." He says, emotionally. "I wrecked everything and a day doesn’t go by that I don’t hate what my life has become." He says and she blinks causing tears to trickle down her cheeks.

"Jason..." She begins and he interrupts her.

"Robin, you were the good thing in my life, you gave me everything good that I have inside, but it’s not enough... without you, none of it matters to me. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore... what I’m living for... why I even care anymore..." He pauses as he looks at her, the look on his face breaking her heart. "...you were the reason I cared... you made me want to live." He says as she smiles tearfully, remembering the first time he had said those exact same words to her and what her words to him were... you made me love my life. "I love you, Robin and I need you with me. You don’t know how hard I’ve tried to convince myself that I could go on without you, that I could forget you, that I could live without you... I can’t, I don’t want to because a life without you, living without you... it isn’t even living." He says and she looks down, sadly.

"I know... me too..." She says, quietly and then sighs as she looks up at him. "...but Jason, you did move on, we both did... and maybe things didn’t work out with Elizabeth, but someday-" She starts and he cuts her off, shaking his head adamantly.

"Never... she isn’t you, she could never be you." He says and Robin looks away, painfully.

"You say that now..." She says and once again Jason interrupts her.

"Always..." He says, waiting for her to look at him and see that he’s telling her the truth. "I told you before... as long as I’m living, as long as I’m breathing and my heart’s beating... I will always only want you, just that way." He says as he gently touches her chin, guiding her to look at him. He watches as tears slips from her eyes and he doesn’t understand. "What?" He asks, concerned as she stares into his eyes, searching, seeking, finding the strength to say this.

"We loved each other and then we hurt each other. I mean, how is that possible... how is it possible to love someone so much and then cause them so much pain... that’s not right, that’s not how it’s supposed to be... love isn’t supposed to hurt like that." She says through her tears. "I never thought I could make you so angry, I never thought there would come a day that you would hate me..." She says, her voice trembling with emotion.

"I don’t... I didn’t, I could never hate you. I was just angry and hurt..." He says and she looks up at him, painfully.

"You said you wanted me to leave... you said it would be easier if you never saw my face again..." She says and his eyes well with tears.

"Robin, I wish I could take back those words... I would do it in a heartbeat, if I could." He says, pleadingly.

"But you can’t... and I can’t forget. We can’t be together... we’re not right for each other." She says and he looks at her in disbelief.

"How can you say that... when you’re the only thing in the world that makes sense to me... you, being with you, loving you... it’s the only thing that feels right to me... inside." He says, emotionally.

"I don’t want us to hurt each other." She says, tearfully.

"I don’t want us to either... but it hurts more to be apart from you." He says, pausing. "I don’t want to hurt you... I only want to love you." He says, breathlessly as she looks up at him.

"And I... I can’t." She whispers, remorsefully.

Robin stands in the same exact spot, staring in the direction Jason left in, unable to move just then. After all that was said and done, after all the tears, after all the heartache... nothing had changed, nothing had been gained nor lost. Both were left standing in the same place they began in with nothing but the sad truth staring them in the face. He had walked away, respecting her decision, never one to make it for her... like she knew he would, like he had always done. And although, her heart was breaking and the tears seemed never ending, she knew that eventually the hurting would stop and she would smile again... and so would he. It wasn’t that she didn’t miss him or think about him, she did, more than she wanted to... it wasn’t that she didn’t love him, she did, more than ever and although she had never come out and said it, she hoped that he knew... she still loved him, how could she not? Together they were beautiful and their love was powerful, simply incredible... but sometimes love isn’t enough, it can’t take away the memories of a shattered past or replace the pieces of a broken dream. But time can heal a broken heart and space can strengthen a bond... and if they’re meant to be, one day they will be despite the best laid plans.