"Six Meetings Before Lunch" 
Transcript

Added August 31, 2001

DONNA  Josh!

JOSH Yeah.

(DONNA enters)

JOSH  What’s this message about I’ve gotta talk to Mandy about a banana bar? Is that what this says?

DONNA  Panda Bear.

JOSH  Panda Bear?

DONNA  Yes.

JOSH  That’s a "D"?

DONNA  Yeah.

JOSH  And that’s an "E"?

DONNA  Yeah.

JOSH  Okay, you know what’d be helpful? If you could just show me where one word ends and the next one begins.

DONNA  We have to go.

(They leave Josh's office and start walking)

DONNA  Yes.

JOSH  You’re sure you got the message right?

DONNA  Have I ever gotten a message wrong?

JOSH  No.

DONNA  Then maybe the benefit of the doubt wouldn’t be monumentally outa line.

JOSH  A Panda Bear’s what I think it is, right?

DONNA  Yes.

JOSH  Little Australian thing, eats bark off a Koala tree?

DONNA  That’s a Koala Bear I believe you’re describing.

JOSH  The Panda’s the other one--

DONNA  How can you not know the difference between a Panda Bear and a Koala Bear?

JOSH  For someone who hasn’t quite mastered the alphabet--

DONNA  My penmanship is distinctive.

JOSH  Your penmanship is illegible.

(MALLORY appears)

MALLORY Josh.

JOSH  Hey, Mal.

MALLORY  Where’s Sam?

JOSH  He’s gonna be watching the Mendoza vote.

MALLORY  Can you believe him?

JOSH  Sam?

MALLORY  Yeah.

JOSH  Can I believe him?

MALLORY  Yeah.

JOSH  No.

MALLORY  You think you know a guy.

JOSH  Yeah.

MALLORY  You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you.

JOSH  No.

MALLORY  Okay.

JOSH  Okay.

JOSH (shouts out the name)  Toby.

TOBY  Joshua.

JOSH  How ‘bout some champagne.

CROWD  (shouting)  No!

JOSH  What the hell--

TOBY  Ginger?

GINGER  Tempting fate.

JOSH  Okay. (turns to DONNA)  Go grab Leo.

DONNA  It’s distinctive penmanship style, Josh.

JOSH  Go.

DONNA  Not unlike Salvador Dali.

JOSH  Please go get Leo.

JOSH  I don’t understand, Salvador Dali had distinctive penmanship?

DONNA  Yes.

JOSH  How was it distinctive?

DONNA  Well, for one thing, he wrote in Spanish.

JOSH  He was Spanish.

DONNA  Which would account for his distinctive penmanship.

(LEO comes over) 

JOSH  I can’t even begin to tell you how you’re not.

LEO  (to DONNA) You mind if I--

DONNA I’ll go see if people are having fun in the other room.

(DONNA leaves and LEO and JOSH talk)

MANDY You got my message?

JOSH  Yeah, you didn’t want to talk to me about banana bars by any chance, did you?

MANDY  Panda Bears.

JOSH  Donna has stylish penmanship.

MANDY  I think we should get a Panda Bear.

JOSH  You say that now, but I’m the one who’s gonna end up feeding him and walking him.

MANDY  You guys have gotten something more than three-thousand letters in the last ten days, wanting to know when you’re getting a new bear for the National Zoo?

JOSH  What happened to the old bear?

MANDY  Lum-Lum?

JOSH  Okay.

MANDY  She died two weeks ago.

JOSH  Did I kill her?

MANDY  No.

JOSH  Then what are you talking to me for?

MANDY  Three thousand letters in ten days.

JOSH  Did I write any of them?

MANDY  No.

JOSH  Then once again--

MANDY  Who should I be talking to?

JOSH  About getting a new Panda Bear?

MANDY  Yes.

JOSH  To replace Lum-Lum?

MANDY  Yes.

JOSH (pause)  Toby. You should be talking to Toby. And when you go to Toby, please tell him that it was at my suggestion.

(DONNA arrives, loaded with papers and files)

JOSH  Thanks.

MANDY  Toby?

JOSH  Remember to tell him I sent you.

MANDY  (talking about the stuff that DONNA’S carrying)  What’s all this?

JOSH  I have to tell a black civil rights lawyer why I don’t owe him any money.

MANDY  Good luck.

JOSH  Thank you.

JOSH  He’s here?

DONNA  Yeah.

JOSH  Send him in.

(DONNA leaves and JEFF BRECKENRIDGE enters.)