Scene 1

(Josh is just arriving at the West Wing.  He goes through the process of entering security, sliding his card, and enters the hallway where Donna comes up behind him.)

DONNA: C.J.'s looking for you.

JOSH: Huh?

(They continue walking together.)

DONNA: C.J.'s looking for you.

JOSH: Donna?

(Josh hangs up his jacket.)

DONNA: Yes?

JOSH: "Good morning, Josh" is a pretty good way to start the day.

DONNA: Good morning.

JOSH: What's up?

DONNA: C.J.'s looking for you.

JOSH: Tell her I'm in the office.

DONNA: Josh, I'm saying C.J. is looking for you.

(They stop walking as Josh realizes the import of her words.)

JOSH: What did I do?

DONNA: How would I know?

JOSH: 'Cause you know everything.

DONNA: I do know everything.

JOSH: Donna...

DONNA: I'm saying you say that now, but every time I want to make a substantive contribution...

JOSH: You make plenty of substantive contributions.

DONNA: Like what?

JOSH: This! This could be a substantive contribution.

DONNA: I need a raise.

JOSH: So do I!

DONNA: You're my boss.

(Donna turns and starts to walk away from him, desperate, he follows her.)

JOSH: Do-- but I'm not the one who pays you.

DONNA: Yeah, but you could recommend that I get a raise.

JOSH: Donna, she's looking for me. Do you really think this is the best time to talk about a raise?

(Donna stops and turns to him.)

DONNA: Hmmm... I think this is the best time to talk about a raise.

(She gives him a taunting smile.)

JOSH: Donna, you're not a very nice person.

DONNA: You got to get to know me.

JOSH: Donna...

DONNA: (she sighs, resigned to tell him what she knows) The best I can cobble together from the small shards of information I've been able to overhear in the restroom and the Danish cart...

JOSH: Donna...

DONNA: Is it possible that there's a situation involving Sam, a woman, and C.J. being denied information about something?

(Josh suddenly realizes why C.J. is looking for him-and how much trouble he is in.)

JOSH: Ok. Here's what I'm gonna do.

DONNA: Hide in your office?

JOSH: No. I'm not gonna hide in my office. I'm gonna go into my office and devise a strategy. That is what I do. I'm a professional. I'm not a little boy.

DONNA: Hmm. That's the spirit.

JOSH: But if she calls, I'm at the dentist. I'll be back in an hour.

DONNA: Got it.

(Josh opens the door to his office as Donna turns away in thinly veiled amusement. Immediately upon entering he sees C.J. sitting at his desk, reading a newspaper.  Surprised, he screams and C.J. puts the paper down to glare at him.)

C.J. Wow, are you stupid!

Scene 2

(C.J. folds up the paper and continues to glare at Josh while he tries to explain.)

JOSH: You can't be mad at me about this C.J.

C.J.: Really? Let's see if I can, let's see if I can find it in me.

(Donna appears in the doorway next to Josh to look at C.J. in surprise.)

DONNA: Wait, she was here?

C.J.: Could you excuse us, Donna?

DONNA: How did I miss that?

JOSH: I don't know, but you can kiss that raise goodbye.

(Josh says sarcastically,  and earns himself another female glare, this one from Donna.)

DONNA: Senior staff in five minutes.

JOSH: Thanks.

(Donna leaves and C.J. launches into her tirade at Josh for keeping the news of Sam's indiscretion with call girl Laurie from her.)

Scene 3

(An extremely nervous looking Charlie Young is sitting inside the conference room.  Behind him, Donna and Josh can be seen walking down the hallway.)

JOSH: I haven't eaten lunch yet, if anyone's going to the thing.

DONNA: What do you want?

(They appear in the doorway and walk in.)

JOSH: I would like a salad, I would like a soup of some kind and if you were to run across a sandwich, then hang the expense.

DONNA: Right.

JOSH: And I would like a bottle of water.

DONNA: This is Charles Young.

(She introduces Charlie, who has now stood up, hands Josh his file, and leaves him to 'vet the nervous younger man.)

JOSH: I'm supposed to vet you.

CHARLIE: I beg your pardon?

JOSH: I'm supposed to vet you, vet you; investigate to discover... if there are problems. I'm Josh Lyman, deputy chief of staff.

CHARLIE: How are you?

JOSH: Is it Charles?

CHARLIE: Charlie.

JOSH: Charlie, you can have a seat if you like.

CHARLIE: I don't mind standing.

(Josh sees Donna walking down the hall again and calls her.)

JOSH: Uh, Donna!

(She appears in the doorway.)

DONNA: What?

JOSH: Nevermind the salad, I'm not going to eat it anyway.

DONNA: Fine.

JOSH: But I would like a bottle of water as soon as humanly possible.

DONNA: Fine!

(Annoyed, she leaves. Josh continues to talk to Charlie, then Donna appears again to hand Josh his bottle of water.))

DONNA: Water.

CHARLIE: See, that's not... see, there's been some kind of mistake.

(Josh, barely listening, is perusing a report that Donna had handed him.)

JOSH: I'll say. Donna!

(She stops at the door and turns back to him.)

CHARLIE: I should go.

(Charlie stands up again but Josh isn't paying attention to him.)

JOSH: 'Insuccessful'?

DONNA: What's the problem?

JOSH: I don't think we're allowed to make up our own words.

DONNA: Oh, and like there's no chance it's a typo.

JOSH: Change it, would you? Serious people are going to read that.

(She takes the report and leaves.  Josh continues to interview Charlie and finally explains to him that he is being recommended for the job as the President's personal assistant.)

Scene 4

(Josh walks down the hallway to his bullpen, people are scurrying all around him.  He stops to lean on the partition near Donna's desk where she is busy working.)

JOSH: Where's Charlie?

DONNA: He's filling out his employment stuff at Personnel.

JOSH: How's he doing?

DONNA: He looked pretty freaked.

JOSH: He's a gamer, I can pick em.

DONNA: If you say so. 

(Josh continues to stand there, watching everything going on while Donna continues working.)

JOSH: I've got nothing to do.

DONNA: I can see that.

(A male staffer rushes by Josh, grabs something from around him, then rushes off again.)

JOSH: Woo! Excuse me. Everyone's running around like the future of the world depends
on it, which I suppose it does, everyone running around, working. Me, I've got nothing to do.

DONNA: Yes.

JOSH: I'm like a writer on a movie set.

DONNA: (humoring him) Have you ever been on a movie set?

JOSH: No, but I hear stories.

DONNA: You wanna do mail?

JOSH: (sits on something) I suppose there's some comfort in knowing that whatever's going to happen today has already happened.

(From behind him, Mandy appears from his office to stand in the doorway.)

MANDY: Josh, your office sucks.

(Josh sits there for a moment, then turns to Donna in exasperation.)

JOSH: I don't understand it. Why can't you tell me when there's someone in my office?

DONNA: The first time I didn't know, the second time I didn’t care that much.

(Donna gets up and leaves, leaving Josh to deal with Mandy's insults about his office.)