Scene 1

(JOSH is sitting at his desk, on the phone, with a pile of papers in front of him.  He finishes his phone call then gets up, calling to an off-camera DONNA.)

JOSH: Donnatella Moss!

DONNA: Hey. 

(DONNA follows him as he makes his way to the bullpen.)

JOSH: A senior Indonesian deputy is coming tonight. Toby and I want to talk to him alone for a few minutes. I need you to find out if he can speak English and if he can't, we need to get an interpreter from State.

DONNA: What's his name?

JOSH: Ramahedi Sumahedjo Banbang.

DONNA: Can you spell that?

JOSH: Not correctly, no.

DONNA: Josh...

JOSH: Yes.

DONNA: I've got to tell you something.

JOSH: What?

DONNA: I'm not wild about this whole Indonesian thing.

JOSH: What's the problem?

DONNA: I've been doing some reading on my own.

JOSH: I wish you wouldn't do that.

DONNA: Why?

JOSH: Because you tend to recall some bizarre factoid from a less than reputable source and then you blow it all out of proportion.

DONNA: (Peeved) I do not.

DONNA: I just thought you might like to know that in certain parts of Indonesia, they summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers.

(JOSH stops in disbelief.)

JOSH: What?

DONNA: I read it.

JOSH: They... summarily execute people they suspect of being sorcerers?

DONNA: They behead them.

JOSH: Sorcerers.

DONNA: Gangs of roving people. Beheading those they suspect of being sorcerers. You know with... what's that thing that Death carries?

JOSH: A scythe.

DONNA: They're doing it with a scythe.

JOSH: Well, thanks for the head's up.

DONNA: I thought you might like to know who's coming over for dinner.

JOSH: You bet.

Scene 2

(The meeting ends and as DONNA is exiting, TOBY calls out to her.)

TOBY: Donna?

DONNA: Yeah?

(DONNA and TOBY walk down the hall, as JOSH comes up behind them.)

TOBY: Did Josh talk to you about the--.

DONNA: Ramahedi Sumahedjo Banbang?

TOBY: Yeah.

DONNA: I'm on it.

TOBY: Thank you.

DONNA: Toby, did you know that in certain parts of Indonesia they summarily execute people who they suspect of being sorcerers?

TOBY: Yes.

DONNA: (To Josh) You see?

JOSH: You're all crazy.

Scene 3

(It's the night of the State Dinner, and JOSH and DONNA are in his office, where she is fixing his tie.  He's dressed in a tuxedo.)

DONNA: If you can't explain what you're doing now, the assumption is that you're a sorcerer. If you try to run, the assumption is that you're a sorcerer. Okay? So, if anything happens, the prudent thing is to stay still and calmly explain your business.

JOSH: Well, prudent or not, once the scythe comes out, I'm probably going to haul ass.

(CHARLIE pokes his head in the open office door, knocking.)

JOSH: What's up?

CHARLIE: I hate to ask you this, but I need a favor.

JOSH: What do you need?

CHARLIE: My grandparents own a little house up the Georgia coast.

JOSH: Are they evacuated?

CHARLIE: I don't know where they are. I've been trying to get a hold of them all day.

DONNA: They lost power lines in parts of Northeastern Georgia.

CHARLIE: Um... I'm sorry to ask you this, but--.

JOSH: Don't worry about it. (He pulls away from DONNA, who makes a quick adjustment to his tie before he walks away.) Donna, call FEMA, use my name. When that doesn't work, use Leo's name.

CHARLIE: It's just that they don't get around too well.

JOSH: We'll find them. 

(JOSH reassures CHARLIE as he leaves the office, DONNA'S already on the phone.)

Scene 3

(TOBY approaches JOSH in the hallway.)

TOBY: Can I speak with you a moment?

JOSH: Is he in? Let's go.

TOBY: Mr. Menaldi!

(The door of one of the offices opens and a man walks out.)

TOBY: This is the interpreter from State.

JOSH: You do speak Indonesian, don't you?

MENALDI: There's no such language as Indonesian. Indonesians speak 583 different languages. I speak Javanese. Mr. Banbang speaks Batak.

JOSH: Donna!

(DONNA comes running down the hallway.)

DONNA: I know, I know, I've got it under control.

JOSH: It's 7:30, is there anyone left at state?

DONNA: No.

JOSH: Then, what are we doing?

DONNA: Well, Mr. Menaldi speaks Portuguese.

TOBY: Where does that get us?

DONNA: Well, there's a guy who works in the kitchen who can translate Mr. Banbang's Batak into Portuguese. Then Mr. Menaldi will translate it into English.

TOBY: Wait a minute... ah... Why can't the kitchen guy translate it Batak into English?

DONNA: The kitchen guy doesn't speak English.

TOBY: You're kidding me.

DONNA: Well, no. He speaks Batak and Portuguese so I wouldn't look down your nose.

TOBY: Is the bar open yet?

DONNA: Yeah.

TOBY: Make this work.

DONNA: (whispers to JOSH) I'm sorry. 

(DONNA tweaks his tie before she leaves.)

Scene 4

(TOBY, DONNA, the interpreter MENALDI, the kitchen attendant GOMEZ, and BANBANG.)

TOBY: Mr. Gomez...

TOBY: Mr. Gomez, you speak Batak. Is that correct?

(MENALDI translates for GOMEZ.)

MENALDI: Yes.

TOBY: As you just did, you also speak Portuguese?

(MENALDI translates for GOMEZ.)

MENALDI: Yes.

TOBY: But not English?

(MENALDI translates for GOMEZ.)

MENALDI: No.

TOBY: Okay. Those are two pretty tough languages, Batak and Portuguese... you might want to take a crack at English one day, seeing as how you live here. Okay?

(MENALDI is about to translate when TOBY stops him.)

TOBY: No. Don't translate. Mr. Banbang, thank you for agreeing to meet with me today.

(MENALDI translates for GOMEZ who translates for BANBANG.)

MENALDI: You're welcome.

TOBY: Okay.

(JOSH arrives.) 

JOSH: Sorry I'm late. I'm Josh Lyman.

(MENALDI translates for GOMEZ who translates for BANBANG.)

TOBY: This is going to take a while.

MENALDI: Pleased to meet you.

JOSH: Are you enjoying the evening?

(MENALDI translates for GOMEZ who translates for BANBANG. While this goes on, TOBY and JOSH talk.) 

TOBY: Josh, this isn't the best context for chit-chat.

JOSH: Mandy is pretty upset. I didn't do a great job.

MENALDI: I didn't like the salmon.

(JOSH looks confused.)

TOBY: He's answering a question from like a half hour ago. Mr. Banbang?

BANBANG: Why don't we just speak in English?

(TOBY and JOSH are surprised.  JOSH turns to DONNA.)

JOSH: Donna...

DONNA: I was told that he...

JOSH: Yes?

DONNA: You should keep in mind all the things I do right.

JOSH: Yes.

DONNA: Should I go now?

JOSH: Yes.

(DONNA leaves.)

TOBY: Mr. Gomez, Mr. Menaldi, thank you for your trouble.

(The two men leave.)

BANBANG: What can I do for you, gentlemen?

TOBY: A friend of mine is in one of your jails. I want you to let him out.

BANBANG: But your friend isn't an American.

TOBY: He's French.

BANBANG: Then why not let the French take care of this one?

TOBY: Because he's my friend and the French don't give a damn.

BANBANG: The extradition process is one that my...

JOSH: We're not talking about the extradition process.

TOBY: What we're talking about is that you unlock the cell, you put him in a car, and you drive him to the border.

BANBANG: Your friend led anti-government demonstrations.

TOBY: That's what he does. He teaches students how to protest.

BANBANG: And so you're asking this as a favor?

TOBY: Yes.

BANBANG: Senior aide to senior aide.

TOBY: Yes.

BANBANG: I think you have a lot of nerve. That was a despicable and humiliating toast your president made. And I know you are the one who wrote it.

TOBY: Please understand that with so many people watching... with so much media coverage... it was important for us to make clear that the United States, with it's commitment to human rights...

(BANBANG interrupts.)

BANBANG: Mr. Ziegler. Does it strike you at all hypocritical that a people who systematically wiped out a century's worth of Native Americans should lecture the world so earnestly on human rights?

TOBY: Yes, it does.

BANBANG: You humiliated my president tonight. And for no other reason than to show off. And now you want me to do you a favor? Go to hell.

(BANBANG leaves.)

JOSH: We'll talk to the French.

JOSH: Toby. We'll talk to the French.

TOBY: Yeah.